Arguing is often considered to be a negative thing in a marriage but actually it is perfectly normal and, if done the right way, pretty healthy too! Everyone has disagreements, even those couples who seemingly 'have it all'.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Fighting in a relationship can sometimes become very tense and either of the partners or both of them can become quite serious and lose control over themselves to attack each other verbally and make it quite ugly.
* Some really get their teeth into an argument, loading on more and more ammunition until they either achieve a knock-out or their partner surrenders!
* Some couples find that they end up arguing about the same issues over and again because they have failed to come to any resolution during previous 'rounds'.So maybe now you can see why there are actually recommended 'rules' to fighting! So here in this article we are going to talk with you about how to hone up your marital communication skills and fight fair with your spouse!
* Sometimes the arguments are repetitive and couples keep doing it when they are clueless about what to do.
1. Understand what the problem is!
Make sure you are discussing the cause of the issue and not a symptom of it.
Be sure you are usually talking about the reason for the situation rather than a symptom of computer.
Keep the content of your arguments relevant. Don't let the conversation drift into different areas of disagreement or old 'bug-bears' - resolving one conflict is hard enough - why tackle even more!
Before getting in to the argument make sure you understand what is the issue.
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
4. Mutual Respect
5. Good Admiration
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
In an ideal world it would be nice to say that every argument can result in a win/win scenario but that isn't always the case in the real world, so;
In a ideal earth it could be good to convey that all argument may result in a win/win predicament however that's not often the case inside real life, thus;
* If people 'win', tend not to gloat.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Fighting in a relationship can sometimes become very tense and either of the partners or both of them can become quite serious and lose control over themselves to attack each other verbally and make it quite ugly.
* Some really get their teeth into an argument, loading on more and more ammunition until they either achieve a knock-out or their partner surrenders!
* Some couples find that they end up arguing about the same issues over and again because they have failed to come to any resolution during previous 'rounds'.So maybe now you can see why there are actually recommended 'rules' to fighting! So here in this article we are going to talk with you about how to hone up your marital communication skills and fight fair with your spouse!
* Sometimes the arguments are repetitive and couples keep doing it when they are clueless about what to do.
1. Understand what the problem is!
Make sure you are discussing the cause of the issue and not a symptom of it.
Be sure you are usually talking about the reason for the situation rather than a symptom of computer.
Keep the content of your arguments relevant. Don't let the conversation drift into different areas of disagreement or old 'bug-bears' - resolving one conflict is hard enough - why tackle even more!
Before getting in to the argument make sure you understand what is the issue.
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
4. Mutual Respect
5. Good Admiration
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
In an ideal world it would be nice to say that every argument can result in a win/win scenario but that isn't always the case in the real world, so;
In a ideal earth it could be good to convey that all argument may result in a win/win predicament however that's not often the case inside real life, thus;
* If people 'win', tend not to gloat.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
About the Author:
Want to find out more about marriage related argument, then visit Barbara Firer 's site on how to choose the best argumentative communication in marriage for your needs.
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