Why I Always Speak English When Approaching Girls In Tokyo

By Kaku Nanashi


A hot subject of argument amongst the sexually prolific bilinguals in Japan is whether you should approach Japanese girls in English or Japanese.

I've attempted it in both languages extensively. For me, it has constantly been much better to approach Japanese women in English. Bear in mind, I am not a typical foreigner so your situation could require a modification of strategy. My reasoning is as follows.

Standing Out and Avoiding Cultural Obstacles

I am Japanese-American. Prior to opening my yapper, I am not so different from the other 50 million native Japanese dudes in this nation. If I approach a lady with a standard Nihongo 101 greeting, I will be quickly classified as a run-of-the-mill Japanese male. Her brain will quickly toss me in a mental box with all the other Japanese dudes (most likely losers) who have propositioned her in the past. Odds are this is not in my favor, so I like to prevent this unfavorable knee-jerk response whenever possible.

I like to immediately separate myself from the hordes of thirsty Japanese dudes and what is culturally expected from them with a simple English greeting. This may seem like over-thinking it, but dating is a numbers game and every little edge helps.

English-speaking asians are also somewhat intriguing to Japanese people due to our relative rarity. That extra bit of intrigue definitely has bought me a couple extra moments to work my charm on multiple occasions. If you're a non-asian, I still recommend using English initially because it will make any Japanese that you drop later in your interaction will be that much more of a welcome surprise.

Reason # 2: Fast Filtering and Predictable Responses

Whether a Japanese girl is interested in me or not, utilizing English offers me excellent feed back that will inform me of where I stand. This is due to the fact that approaching in English is far more polarizing than doing so in Japanese. Her feedback to your opening will have more clear indications of whether she is interested or not. It also makes her to put effort into the interaction, which is never a bad thing. On the occasions where the conversation strikes a lull due to her absence of English capability, I can switch to Japanese and keep it going.

It's Just Easier

My Japanese is wonderful. Real wonderful. Hey there, everybody, come see how good my Japanese is. Even so, my English is still light years better. And I'm no master ladies' man. I still get approach anxiety sometimes. When I'm not feeling completely social, there are times when conversing in another language is just enough of an obstacle to make me say, "I'm going home". But since I mainly approach ladies with English, this reason seldom comes up in my mind.

You don't have to worry too much about the girl not understanding you. English education here is bad, but it's not so bad that they won't know what "hello" means. Use whatever greeting comes naturally to you and see where it takes you.

A Final Word

I see zero downside to this strategy, particularly for anyone who can comfortably speak both languages. In terms of efficiency of time and effort, using English to approach Japanese women is 2nd to none in Japan. It will be intriguing to see if this approach likewise works for bilinguals of other countries with various cultures.




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