What You Should Know About Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Conflict is common to all relationships. Most married people have had their share of disagreements due to their different personalities, backgrounds and expectations. You may find yourselves arguing, disagreeing or bickering on a regular basis over particular issues. Some conflicts can ruin your relationship. It is therefore important to know how to resolve them. If you develop the skill of couples conflict solution, you can protect and preserve your relationship.

At times, conflict begins with the possibility of making major changes. Your spouse can respond in a hostile manner after you have stated your case. This can include yelling, talking over you or tuning out completely. During the initial phases of resolving conflicts, the process used is more important than the words used. You can disagree in a healthy way by developing good listening skills.

It is important to let your partner share his or her concerns, frustrations or worries. Provide your spouse with the opportunity to share his or her feelings in a safe manner, without the fear of being ridiculed with cutting remarks. This way, your spouse will be more open and willing to hear what you have to say.

In order to resolve conflicts, you should also speak about the way you feel without shifting blame to your partner. The statements that directly assault the character of your partner can be particularly damaging to your relationship. For instance, if you are frustrated with the jealousy of your partner, do not say that he or she is completely irrational. Instead, you can tell him or her that you get irritated when he or she claims that you are flirting with someone during innocent conversions. This tactic is direct, but it does not impugn on the character of your lover.

As you address an issue, you should also not make generalizations about your partner. Avoid using words such as never and always. If you use them, your partner may become defensive and begin coming up with examples should that he or she really does the things you are speaking about. You should try to create a discussion about how your spouse can be more helpful and attentive.

Couples can also have constructive discussions if they deal with one problem at a time. When individuals are not happy, it is common for them to bring up a number of topics into one discussion. This is a poor strategy of solving personal problems. When a number of complaints are raised at the same time, getting any one of them solved fully is unlikely.

When your partner criticizes you, do not automatically object to his or her complaints. Being defensive will not solve your problems. Therefore, take time to hear what your partner has to say and really consider it.

Getting the assistance of a coupes counselor is another good way to solve conflicts in your relationship. You can inform the counselor about the issues you are facing and then discuss them with him or her. When undergoing counseling, you can express your emotions and desires in an environment, which is safe and respectful. Counseling can also heal the hurtful feelings brought about by infidelity, bereavement and neglect. Your counselor will assist you to build a relationship, which is more meaningful and intimate.




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