How To Build Self Esteem and Confidence

By Josie Uitendaal


Though it is difficult to give a definition of self esteem, the psychological term denotes an individual's evaluation about their own self. Though many give their own definition of self esteem, widely accepted definition is that of Nathaniel Branden. According to him, self esteem is "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness".It is important to understand, when born, most of us will have high self esteem. This is influenced as we grow, by teachers, parents and other friends or relatives. Many have low self esteem due to one of these influencing personalities. With low esteem, we can never live life to their fullest, or enjoy life. Even doing our daily routine, relationships, or achieving goals can become a problem with reduced self esteem.
[How To Build Self Esteem]


You will easily be able to identify a person with high self esteem. Their very existence will exude all the characteristics above, from their physical appearance right down to the manner in which they speak. They tend to be popular, motivated, ambitious and do not accept defeat easily. Their purpose in life has meaning and they vigorously pursue what they want until they achieve it.In contract, people with low self esteem think they are worthless. They believe that nothing they do merits recognition, praise, respect or reward. Such a person will contently devalue themselves in the presence of others because they simply do not believe they are worthy. They tend to shy away from social inclusion and take the view that everybody else's opinions matter more than their own. They feel shameful and embarrassed at the very thought that they could ever be admirable in any way.

Never think about your problems and brood over your past. Move on and have a positive outlook, so you can change your future.Understand your powers and limitations. It is good to be positive, but you should know where you stand in life. Never be over ambitious or think about things that aren't viable and be depressed over it. Use your powers and win over your limitations.Challenge yourself every now and then. Change is one thing that's constant and when you adapt yourself to different situations, you can become a better person. This way, you can also know your hidden potentials.Don't compare yourself with anyone, who above or below you! You are what you are! There's no photocopy of you. Remember, you are unique and special. By comparing, you can undermine yourself. You might not be the best rapper, but you will probably be good at something else. So don't compare yourself with others.

Celebrate your achievements.No matter how big or small, if you get something done, celebrate! Tell people about it. Achieving small steps is the key to success. There is nothing wrong in blowing your own trumpet. This will also put you in a positive frame of mind.Use your strengths.Everybody has strengths. Regardless of what you do or what kind of person you are, you have strengths. Focus on what you're good at doing and what you like doing the most. Nobody is good at everything, but everybody is good at something.Love yourself.When you look in the mirror you probably start thinking negative thoughts straight away. To build your self esteem you first need to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. Only once your mind is at ease will it start to accept the notion of improvement.Let go of the past.The past may have had a major impact on your life so far, but how long are you going to let it affect your life? If you choose to move on, you can at least start creating a happier future for yourself but it has to start now. You don't have to forget the past completely, just respect yourself for coping with it and understand that you need to move on.

If you are having these very struggles in your life then continue reading this article on self esteem tips. Then start to apply the knowledge in your everyday life and you will start to see a positive change for the better. Self esteem is how we view our own selves and our abilities to perform certain tasks. If we perceive that we can not do the very tasks that are expected in our daily lives. Then our mental perception of our life is that we will not succeed in life. This is the worst state of mind because it literally decides our outcome before we even try.The reason why so many people have this mind set is because of the way they were raised. They were never told they were a good person and they are usually put down and made to feel as though they will never amount to anything in life.Because of this we have very low self esteem and we must do our best to reverse all of this negative mind set. You can do this by using simple techniques to build good self esteem.You want to start telling yourself that you are a good person. That you believe in yourself and your abilities. You may not have all the answers to overcome your challenges, but have confidence in the fact that you can and are willing to do what it takes to find the answers and go on to overcome your challenges.

This kind of problem can erode the foundations of your relationship until there is not much left. This might take years to happen and then the spouse will just blow up. Obviously this can have catastrophic results on the relationship.You cannot force any to have more self-esteem because it has to come from within themselves. Saying that, it is possible to encourage them to work on self-esteem issues, even though you should not expect overnight results.Here are some tips for building self-esteem in your loved one:Offer them unconditional love. Whatever they do or don't do, show your love for them. If their behavior is upsetting you, discuss this with them but do it together. Everyone makes mistakes. If they make a mistake, show that you still love them regardless.

Be supportive. Make sure your spouse knows they have your full support. If someone else is criticizing your partner, you need to defend him or her from this. The relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to supersede other relationships. You need to stand by your spouse fully and show total support.Be respectful to your spouse. Don't be a doormat but do show respect. Use words like please and thank you and avoid treating him or her like a child. Doing that or nagging is disrespectful and demeaning and will crush their self-esteem even more. Someone with low self-esteem often feels they don't deserve respect. Respect will make them feel better and can help to build their self-esteem.

Be appreciative so your partner is aware that you appreciate the things they do. Whether it is cleaning the bathroom or cooking a meal, let them know you appreciate the gesture. Tell them they make a great parent if you have kids. If you are being honest and loving, you will see many things your spouse does which you can praise them for.Make sure to share the credit. If your spouse is suffering from low self-esteem, they might not see how they are contributing to the marriage and family every day. Point out these things to others and to your spouse. Let your spouse know how much you value their abilities and how much it helps.Help your spouse to discover any hidden talents. Ask them about what they can do well or like to do or would even like to learn to do. Encourage them to do more of this or take a class. Perhaps you will both be interested and can learn or practice together.

Strive to be confident when meeting other individuals. You must also guarantee that you try as much as feasible to consider the positive side of each encounter you have with individuals. This will certainly make it easy for you to magnify those you interact with.One more one of the things that you have to understand is that being a really good listener is the key to enhanced relations. People generally like those who hear their point of views and you should therefore tackle coming to be a far better listener each day.

Show that you are interested in them. Do you know their favorite animal or color? Do you know their ambitions and dreams? Find out these things and use the information. If you find out your wife likes turtles, buy her a turtle ornament, for example, "just because". Find out her favorite dinner and make it for her. This demonstrates your love and care for your spouse by actions, which speak louder than words. Asking questions about what your spouse likes and doesn't like is a great way to build intimacy and show that you are interested in everything about them.Remember not to go it alone. Asking "what is your opinion?" is very important, especially in a marriage. You must always take your partner's views into consideration when making a decision. Whether it is a major purchase or just a small thing, ask what your spouse thinks. Whether you are deciding where to go on vacation or changing the color of the bedroom carpet, ask them. This tells them that you trust and value them and this can greatly enhance your marriage.Healthy self-esteem ensures a happy, fulfilling marriage. Taking the time to implement the above ideas can help to build your spouse's self-esteem and make the two of you, plus any children you have, happier together. It might take weeks, or even months, to build up someone's self-esteem but if you use these ideas, hopefully it will be a great success in the end.




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